i will strangle a horse
Finally! A comedy choose-your-own-adventure game written by me, comedian Guy Kelly, about a man called Martin Jenkins. A man with one goal. One passion: Strangling a horse.
Does he know what a horse is? Is he aware of farms? Find out for yourself, in this 13k+ word game of absolute hot nonsense. I mean. Honestly. Even for me this is silly.
Now with BRAND NEW ENDINGS, NONSENSE, and EASTER EGGS!
Free to play!
Comments
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I've discovered a terrible game-breaking oversight.
I headed to the grain silo and looked at the ladder, at which point the game told me my character has never climbed a ladder before. I freestyled my way up it, then changed my mind and freestyled my way back down. I then changed my mind again and decided to freestyle back up, at which point I was informed, again, that my character has never climbed a ladder before.
Quite frankly, I don't appreciate being gaslit about my ladder climbing experience by a video game.
0/10 - unplayable garbage
Thanks for this feedback, it has been addressed and will be corrected in tomorrow's patch. also i will fite u
Hey Guy, think I found a bug.
If you click on "martin jenkins" on the opening screen, you get to the stats page, and I don't see any link to get back. See this zoomed-out screenshot.
Alas, I am stuck on this screen, doomed to never strangle a horse :'(
Worry not! Clicking the grey arrow on the upper left (the bottom is in line with "martin") will get you back to the previous page! Happt stranglin'!
Ah! That works! I couldn't see the arrow 🤦 Back to stranglin' that horse!
good
I think I saw everything in the game in 15 minutes.
It was absolutely 15 minutes well spent.
As a fellow creator of agricultural adventure games, I enjoyed this immensely.
It’s very funny which slightly diminishes the serious importance of farm work but I appreciate that it will introduce newcomers to the genre.
Best horse strangling simulator released so far this year
This is hilarious, but I'm starting to wonder if there's any way to actually strangle that horse- I shall keep trying!
I'm also starting to wonder why I, too, want to strangle that horse so badly now.
*Update/Spoiler: Yay I made it! :D
how pray tell